Sunday, April 12, 2009

Back to the Future

According to news reports, Samajwadi Party has promised to ban Computers, English and Mechanised farming if voted to power. This is only the beginning and more will follow surely in this right direction. It is reliably understood that Supremo Mulayam Singh Yadav and his party stalwarts, key allies and uneasy coalition partners are insisting on some more key changes. Those heard through the grapewine are listed below.

1. Mulayam Singh Yadav wants Urdu to replace Hindi as Link Language. Hindi was brought in by Congress Party.

2. Mulayam Singh Yadav also wants legalising Thugs an Pindaris whom the British unfairly tried to eliminate. They will be allowed to amass disproportionate assets.

3. Key Party Strategest Amar Singh has proposed closure of all factories, mills, etc,

4. Young and dynamic Sanjay Dutt insists on banning all modern weapons like AK-47 and granades. Chakus and lathis will be procured for our valiant Armed Forces and each citizen will be allowed to keep one Khatta.

5. Jayaprada has demanded total ban on Cinemas.

6. Key ally Lalu Prasad Yadav's proposal is to ban Railways and all forms of Mechanised transport. There will be an exclusive Minister of State for Asses.

7. Ram Vilas Paswan is adamant about dismantling reservations. He also insists that vocations should be purely caste-based.

8. Rabri Devi meekly hinted that women should be prohibited from entering public life. They will be in purdah and keep grinding atta on stone chakkis.

9. Almost all NGOs are of the view that Sati should be re-introduced and made compulsory.

10. The cake goes to the gem from uneasy partner Sonia Gandhi. If she has her way, Samajwadi will be banned and Dynastic rule formalised. This will totally eliminate the bother of elections and Manifestos.


...ponder

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